Okay, so in anticipation of Thursday and the impending Thanksgiving feast, I am anticipating the event which I’ve been waiting to happen for literally 20 years. I think that this year will be the year that I finally am accepted into the VIP world of the adult dinner table.
I don’t know if anyone else had this problem growing up, but Thanksgiving/Christmas are always huge family events that normally consists of two tables, the smaller one for the kids and the bigger one for adults: and depending on your age, you get stuck at the kids’ table. I come from a pretty big family. There are all of the adults; my grandparents, my parents (and their respective significant others. No, my parents are not swingers, they’re just divorced), my aunts, my uncles, and then there are the grandchildren, which is my generation. There are 9 of us all together, oddly enough on both sides of my family I have my seven cousins and then my brother and me.
On my dad’s side, I am one of the youngest. I am the 7th born of the 9 grandkids. I have seen the others cross over to the adult table and I am just waiting for the champagne and caviar that I think awaits at the table just three feet over. It just looks glamorous compared to the mashed potato splattered crime scene of a kids’ table. It’s borderline an insult to continue to sit there.
I imagine that the adults probably have heated seats and bottle service. They definitely have the best food since they always get first pick of everything before the scraps get shipped over to Kidsville. I would think that the conversation is stimulating and intriguing and not about the latest episode of whatever show is popular on Disney Channel at the moment. I bet the adult table will appreciate my intellectual views of the current crisis and economic decline in the Eurozone and won’t think that the Eurozone is the same thing as the foam pit at Foam Zone. I can just feel it in my blood. This is my time. I will finally know what being a true adult is all about.
Stay posted for a review of the adults’ table later this family holiday season.