Today marks exactly one month until I make the hop over the pond! The new year will roll in and I will roll out. I anticipate taking London by storm and more than likely bumping a few names down on the royal waiting list to the throne, if you know what I mean. Those are just two of the long term goals, I do however have a short term list of things I would like to accomplish whilst living in “The Smoke.”
1. Attempt to get a picture atop one of the lions at Trafalgar Square. They are majestic and I would pretend it’s Aslan for like 10 seconds.
2. Visit Bridget Jones’ flat by myself and sing “All By Myself.” No explanation necessary.
3. Climb on top of a London red phone booth and procure picture of said deed. Taking a picture inside of one is so 2000 and late.
4. Pretend like I’m the secret daughter of the Prime Minister-To-Be and see if I can climb a fence into his estate. Drawback: Potentially illegal and already done by Amanda Bynes a la “What A Girl Wants”
5. Have tea or at least make eye-contact with a royal. Even if they are royalty 12 times removed.
6. Find as many dive bars and underground pubs as I possibly can and make friends with the bartenders and tell them all of my fabulous and lavish problems, until they tell me, “it’s on the house.”
7. Climb to the top and hang from the minute hand of the Big Ben clock. Drawback: potentially dangerous and also already done by “”Peter Pan.”
8. Have an honest conversation with David on how he feels about “Bend It Like Beckham.”
9. Since I will be living extremely close to Baker Street, I feel it necessary that I make acquaintance with someone named Watson and solve petty crimes with them.
10. Be in the same breathing space as any member of One Direction. Since I would probably go catatonic and lose my ability to speak, I would settle for just being in the same room and sharing oxygen, maybe eye contact if I could muster enough chutzpah.
I would really love to attempt everything on my list but some of my choices require a lot of physical strength that I’m not sure I actually possess, so realistically, I could probably accomplish at least 4 out of 10, but as stated in a previous blog, I will not be getting a life insurance policy, so dying is out of the question. Also, I promised my mother that I would try my hardest not to get arrested or end up on the International News for doing something in poor taste.