I love Tumblr. I really, really love Tumblr. I always see pictures of amazing places that I would love to visit. I always see pictures of food I want to eat. I always see pictures of boys I would love to kiss. Tumblr is also an amazing place to go, no matter my mood. I always find something on my dash that totally captures exactly how I’m feeling.
Today I scrolled past someone’s random thought. It was along the lines of: thinking you’re attractive but still having so many insecurities is like having a crush on yourself and not being sure if you like yourself back.
I laughed for about 10 minutes. Because, it really is accurate. It was my Tumblr truth of the day. I went to Tumblr for inspiration and found it in that quote.
In a general sense of the term, I think that I am “pretty.” But I am so flawed. Body image is a major issue in this generation, and it is one that I am not immune to. Some days are worse than others. When I’m looking to have a pity party, I can pick out each individual insecurity and capitalize on it. I look in the mirror and go “oh… just you again, surprise, surprise, you didn’t wake up as a super model.” It’s a very hum drum feeling.
But on the flip side, there are also lots of times where I really love what I see when I look in the mirror or after taking a picture, and it’s just like: “Damn. You are a hot bitch, why don’t you have a boyfriend, because wow, do you do Pantene commercials in Japan?”
I think that most people can relate to that feeling. Some days are so on point, others are so far from it.
I always find myself thinking about something else too; I live with myself everyday, so I wonder what a stranger actually sees when I meet them for the first time. What is the first thing that they notice? Is it what I see? Do they notice how giant my pores are or did I put on enough cover-up? Can they see that my ears are crooked or did my hair cover them enough that day? Do they appreciate my outfit or can they tell that I wore it to down-play my wide hips? Or do they look those things over? Do they see past the flaws that I pick up on immediately?
In short: I think that we are our own toughest critics. But I think that the most important thing about being your own critic is that when you make a list of your flaws, make a longer list of the good things, because you f*cking rock, even if you don’t always see it.