My Semi-Thought Out, Mostly Impossible Christmas List

We are at the 8 day mark here people, and I’m probably too old and a little too late for making a Christmas list, but since when has that stopped me?

Let’s have the list, shall we?

5. The body of a Victoria’s Secret model. I will take those curves and legs as my own any day, please and thank you.

4. A time machine. Who wouldn’t love to zip around time and space and see some really cool sh*t? I’m thinking a morning spent in the future, about 2050, checking out if the sun actually still rises or if we all live in a space station, then a night at a New York speakeasy in the 1920’s.

3. A domestic cat the size of a lion. Yes, I know, lions are cats, but I mean, I just want my cat to be the size of a lion. That would be the best cuddle pet ever. She is far less vicious and I wouldn’t be afraid of her eating me.

2. To miraculously be able to speak, read, write and understand every language known to man kind. Because, what is the nail technician really saying in her native tongue?

1. Colton Haynes. In nothing but a Santa hat.

Wait! I just thought of something even better that I want. For Christmas, I would really love it if Colton Haynes picked me (me with my new 5’9″, 34-24-34 body) up in his time machine, which contained my giant domestic cat, and he flew me all around the world, where we got to meet people in every country, since there would be no language barrier, we could see the future, the past, everything really.

That would be the perfect Christmas gift, so anyone who isn’t sure what to get me… You’re welcome.

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