Now, I’ve sort of done this once before (“Maz the Movie“), but I’m bringing it back with a holiday twist because I liked it so much.
The premise of the game is that I’m making up the soundtrack to a movie. Before I start, I make up a list of scenarios or scenes that would be in a movie. Then I hit the shuffle button on my iTunes and the first song to come up is the song that I have to write down for the first scenario, then this continues with the next scenario and so on. No skipping and no repeats. Unfortunately, I don’t think I have enough Christmas songs in my iTunes library to have quality results, so instead I used a mix of 8tracks and Pandora radio. I just switched back and forth between the two to get more varied results.
So, without further ado, I present you with my Hallmark Holiday Movie Special, the sequel to Maz: The Movie. It follows the intense holiday love drama of me, and recurring guest star, Super Hot Celeb Boyfriend:
Opening Credits: “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey – I’m just going to get this out right now. This is the way that every holiday season and holiday movie should start, with Mariah. So here’s how my movie opens: It’s me and my Super Hot Celeb Boyfriend (SHCBF) tickle fighting or baking cookies together, possibly making gingerbread houses. We’re probably covered in flour from getting into a super cute flour fight while baking cookies, so it’s just a shot of the damage we’ve caused to the kitchen and then it pans to us sitting on the floor laughing.
Picking Out the Christmas Tree: “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by *NSYNC – This song lends itself to a montage. The montage is of me and SHCBF standing next to a ton of different trees trying to find the perfect one. We drive around the whole town in search of the perfect tree. It had to be just right because this was to be our first Christmas together sharing a house and SHCBF told me that the tree is the focal point of the house.
Decorating the Christmas Tree: “Maybe This Christmas” by Ron Sexsmith – I had never heard this song before so I googled the lyrics. They are kind of intense, so I’m going to assume that this is the part of the movie that starts to foreshadow a problem with me and SHCBF. I mean, “maybe forgiveness will ask us to call”? Definitely some cryptic vibes. So this is probably just a generic scene of us decorating but SHCBF gets a texts from his Super Hot Celeb Ex-Girlfriend, and doesn’t show me or even let on to me that it happened, because to him it meant nothing and he knew I would make more of it than necessary.
Date Night: “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas – I think that this song comes on when we’re out to dinner. This is the part in the movie where everyone starts to see the storm brewing. SHCBF and I are out at a local five star restaurant, when we see his ex in the exact same restaurant. I get irrationally jealous. I say that we must leave at once. SHCBF tells me to dial back the crazy. And I do. Or at least he thinks that I do. In actuality I probably figure out a way to secretly mess with his ex, something sneaky, like bribed a waiter to give her dairy even though she’s lactose intolerant. Something only really rotten person would do.
Christmas Shopping: “The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole – This is just a cozy little scene where everything is still semi-normal between me and SHCBF. We’re just getting those last minute gifts before we head from LA to see my family in Hometown, NJ just before Christmas.
Meet the Family: “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee – We finally make it to Hometown, NJ and things get a little wild. SHCBF meets the family and ends up having a little too much to drink. I end up having to put him to bed and in the mean time his phone vibrates with a text. It is from his ex and I lose my sh*t.
Fight Scene: “A Holly Jolly Christmas” by Burl Ives – I’m going to guess that this is supposed to be ironic. This is actually the morning after I see the text. I would venture to guess that I freak out on SHCBF and jump to conclusion about why his ex was texting him. He claims that there is nothing to it and that he knows that I’m the reason that she got so sick that one time we saw her at the restaurant. He tells me that I’m too jealous and that he just can’t live like this. He tells me that we’re done and that he’s leaving Hometown, NJ.
The Night Before Christmas: “The Greatest Time of Year” by Aly and AJ – This scene is of me, probably trying to move on. I’m trying to get over the fact that SHCBF has left me just before Christmas. I’m trying to see the good of the holiday. It ends up that it just makes me more sad. I realize that I was being a crazy b*tch. I immediately book the first flight back to LA. I rip through LAX, I make it back to mine and SHCBF’s house. I run in the door crying and looking for him. He is no where to be found.
Getting Back Together: “Carol of the Bells” by John Williams – Wild guess, me and Super Hot *Second Time My* Ex-Boyfriend end up seeing each other at a creepy church on Christmas Eve, where the choir is singing this in the style of Home Alone. This is after I searched around my apartment, and all of the places I could to find him, but never did. I assumed that he went home to his family. This is the scene of me being all dejected, I walk down the aisle of the church crying, not knowing that he is in the same place. He sees me and approaches me. It’s this great moving moment where he realizes that I came after him and he had been feeling like sh*t too over the break up. We kiss and make up.
Learning a Life Lesson: “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” by Jim Brickman – Awe. So typical. I love that this came up. So, SHCBF and I both realize that although we’re both very far from our respective “homes,” (We’re in LA, I’m from NJ and he’s obviously from England), when we are together, we are home. Awh, *googly eyes and gagging noises* how sweet!
Waking Up on Christmas Morning: “What Christmas Means to Me” by Hanson – Hanson makes my stupid little 90’s heart flutter. This is the last scene of the movie. It’s me and SHCBF waking up to it snowing in LA, because every single cheesy Christmas movie must end on a snowing Christmas. We’re awake and happy to be alive and together. We run down stairs and the entire house was miraculously decorated and covered in gifts. Almost as if by magic. We’re smiling and laughing and dancing. I run to the tree to grab a gift to give to SHCBF, when I turn back around, he is on one knee proposing.
End Credits: “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas” by Perry Como and the Fontaine Sisters – The movie fades to the credits with me having a dumbfounded look on my face. Setting the scene for a third installment. The big time movie execs are really trying to capitalize on my life story.
Happy 5 days til Christmas fanz!