Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Mother

I just had to share this little story. It happened the other day and really got me thinking, no matter how close you are to your mom or dad, there are just certain things that you shouldn’t say to them.

So, now to the story:

Picture this, I am visiting my mom’s office at work. One of my very best friends happened to be visiting Hometown, NJ, and I wanted her to get the chance to say hello to my mom. So, we’re lounging in my mom’s office, shooting the sh*t, as it were. Then, my mom asks me, “So, what are you girls doing tonight?”

This is where you have to pay attention; this is where I tell you what you shouldn’t say.

In response to my mom, I so eloquently replied, “We’re going to go get drunk,” Okay, wow. Cringe. That’s pretty bad. Your mom doesn’t really want to hear that. But oh, oh no. It was so much worse than that. After I hesitated for about 2.5 seconds, I tacked on, “and f*ck guys.”

  1. OH. MY. GOD
  2. WHAT?
  3. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I have never in my life said that to anyone, and the fact that I said it to my mother. To say that I was mortified would be an understatement. I think that there is a strong chance that I forgot to breathe for a few seconds. My best friend obviously burst out laughing as I’m stuttering to figure out how this has happened.

My mom basically just face-palmed herself. She shook her head and said, “And I’m supposed to feel okay about you moving to London?” I was still so flustered at myself. I just choked out, “I mean, or we might go bowling.”

But there was no saving that one. I am still so embarrassed. Now to make fun of me, she ask what I’m doing and my best friend would scream, “Plan A! Definitely Plan A.” As someone who is not easily embarrassed, it really makes me blush each time. So, my advice to you, just remember your audience when your talking, because apparently my brain and my mouth were having a major disconnect and now I will never live it down.

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