Cookie Cutter “What Confuses An American About London” Post

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I have moved to London. I am living in a beautiful section of the city that is jam packed with people from all over the world. Including, but not limited to, myself and fellow Americans. And while I have been absolutely loving some of the differences, for instance, the people walk around like they just walked off the runway and the streets are so clean, I would probably eat off of them (not actually, because that is super gross, but you see what I mean). There are also some things that just baffle me.

I don’t understand:

  • Why peanut butter isn’t really a thing. Because, I love me some peanut butter and it was about 4 pounds for the tiniest little jar that didn’t even really taste like peanut butter. Like, it tasted like creamed peanuts and not at all like the sugary happiness that is Jif.
  • How everyone literally looks like they stepped out of a Top Shop Advert. Honestly, this isn’t a complaint, it just confuses me that everyone looks so good all the time. I can only pull that off about two days a week. The rest of the tim I just look like a yeti on heavy narcotics. It’s not good.
  • Crossing the streets. Just in general. I appreciate when the street says either look left or look right, because I never know which way the cars are coming from, but then I get to an intersection with no pedestrian crossing signs and I basically book it across the street and hope that no one is about to swing around the curb. It’s a dicey game, there’s usually only a 50-50 shot that I’ll live to see the next cobblestone.
  • Why I haven’t seen a single royal. Like, aren’t they opposed to be locals? Where are there. I hang out by the palace on the reg, and nobody in or out, not even a single time that I’ve gone. It’s bullish*t.
  • Why they don’t refrigerate their eggs. Honestly, is that even okay to not do that? I’m not entirely sure, but they don’t.
  • Why the police and ambulance sirens are so loud. Okay, so I know it’s important that they are heard by everyone so that they can make it through the streets to their important destinations, but it’s ear-piercing, even when I am comfortably situated at my desk on the eighth floor of my flat. I still cringe. Are they trying to wake the dead too?
  • The staring. Londoners are intense starers. Like, to the point where you feel super insecure about what you’re wearing or how you’ve styled your hair. Isn’t that supposed to be rude to do? Because I am about ready to go home and totally reevaluate, even though I thought that I looked great when I left 20 minutes ago.
  • The serious back-up on the music scene. Dude, if I’ve been listening to that song since last April, and it’s just starting to get popular here, what have they been doing for the past nine months? Similarly, the clubs and bars have the best worst music ever, like we’re talking “Now That’s What I call Music Vol. 1” status. Hits of the 90’s and 2000’s into the wee hours of the morning (Honestly, no complaints on that, just confused).

That’s just the list of my top few confusions. But honestly, I have no complaints. I am in the most wonderful city with the most beautiful people (seriously, ugly doesn’t exist here). So, I’ll remain confused, as long as I get to stay.

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