Karma Kills

Karma is real. It is a thing that you can’t escape, as it will find you at some point. Maybe not right away, but definitely in the future.
Imagine my surprise when karma came in the form of a literal burn.

So, karma comes when you talk sh*t, right? Karma comes when you are mean. Karma comes around when you do something to cut down another person, when you know that you shouldn’t.

I think that we can give ourselves bad karma as well.

For instance, while I absolutely love living in London and everything about it, one thing that I have not loved is cooking. I haven’t had a “meal plan” since sophomore year of university, so I figured that I would fully be able to survive without one in London as well. In fact, I don’t think that they offer meal plans in London and if I were to ask, that would probably a super embarrassing American faux pas. I digress, so since there is no meal plan and I have not been an every day Rachel Ray kind of girl, I have been living on peanut butter and jelly or ham and cheese sandwiches. I had not even tried to cook a proper meal or eat “real” food in over a month.

So, I gave myself bad food karma.

As I prepared one of my first real meals, and by real, I mean, I had o use the stove or the “hob” as it’s called here (“what the f*ck is a hob?” was my first question, and why do i need to turn on a switch to make it go on? But that’s beside the point). I made this wonderful meal. I chopped up onions and peppers and sautéed them. I made this divine tortellini and made a tomato and herb cheese sauce to put over it all. Well, everything was going great. I was grilling up a storm and boiling water like a champion. Then the time came to drain the tortellini.

UH OH.

My strainer isn’t big enough. But, A-HA, I can just use my strainer like a scoop into the big pot. So I do that. I get all of the tortellini out of the water and into a bowl. Then karma kicked in.

Since I spent so long being lazy and not actually using my resources (the kitchen) in a way deemed acceptable by the universe, as I went to dump out the hot water residue from the tortellini, it tipped back on me and poured down my stomach and leg.

Can somebody say “F*CKING OW THAT HURT LIKE A MOTHERF*CKER?”

Because, it did. Remind me to be less lazy and cook at least four proper meals a week because if karma gets me like that every time I try to make up for being lazy, I’m going to be charred mess. Take my karmic retribution as a lesson. Learn from it. Avoid the after-burn. Cook a damn meal every once in a while.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s