To the Fan with the Wandering Eye ~

Question:

Is it wrong to be in a great committed relationship, but enjoy other male attention?

Answer:

This is a tricky question to answer; as I am single and always love when guys come up to or notice me when I am out and about. It makes me feel good, puts a little extra pep in my step.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that “sexy” is a skeevy word and a guy who would approach me saying “damn mami, you sexy.” Ew, no bye. But when I’m out and I make eye contact with a guy that I find attractive and he holds the eye contact and smiles, or even if he approaches me and starts a conversation, I usually feel on top of the world.

But again, I’m single and most likely the biggest flirt I know. Like, really, I flirt with everyone, even sometimes unintentionally. I get dressed up, I smile a lot, I do some pretty intense hair flipping, maybe a little giggling and eye-lash batting; which is okay, because I am not committed to anyone.

If I were in a “great committed relationship”, I think that it would have to be with someone who would make me want to forget the attention of the other boys. When I get dressed up for the night, the only person I would really want to impress (besides feeling good for myself, obviously) would be him. If I really was satisfied and felt good about what we have, I would only want to flirt with him. I probably wouldn’t even notice the attention of other guys, because I know who I showed up with, and I know who I’m leaving with. What’s the point in trying to attract someone else if you’re content with that knowledge?

If I was in a committed relationship and I was out and I noticed guys looking me up and down, and I noticed myself giving them the once over too; I would probably question if the committed relationship I was in was actually fulfilling me or if I was just settling for someone because I was comfortable with what we have.

I would say though, if you do find yourself thriving off of the attention of males, other than your significant other whom you would like to remain with, function with a “look don’t touch” attitude. It’s one thing to allow a guy other than you S.O. to appreciate your presence and it’s another thing to allow the stranger to be flirty and hands-y with you. That gets categorized under the “uncool”, borderline “not okay” file.

All in all, I would say that while it’s alright to notice another guy noticing you while you are in a great committed relationship; you might want to rethink some things if you find yourself enjoying their attentions more than the attentions of your current other half.

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