What Is Your Biggest Weakness?

I’m gonna give it to you straight. Everyone has a weakness. There is not a single person on this planet who isn’t flawed in some way. Including, and it pains me to say this, Beyonce. #unflawless (double negative, am I right?) But, I just wish that some people were more up front about their weaknesses.

Walk into a job interview. Interviewer asks: “What’s you’re biggest weakness?”

You respond, “Oh, I’m a perfectionist, I don’t like to hand in anything less than sub-par, even if it means it is late.”

WRONG ANSWER.

I’m talking about real weaknesses. I want to know the nitty-gritty stuff. Not the cookie-cutter bullish*t job interview answer.

If we’re going to be friends, I need to know if you suck at keeping secrets. I need to know if you’re a person who can’t stand to be alone at a party and if I bring you, you’re going to be up my ass all night. I need to know if you are person who is constantly twenty minutes late, no matter what the occasion.

So, I figured that I would lay out my weaknesses for you, so if anyone was thinking of being my friend in the near future, this is what you should know:

I have this really terrible problem. I talk way too much, to the point where I talk myself into a hole or constantly repeat stories. I am so “go with the flow” that when I say, “I don’t care” when you ask me what I want to do or where I want to go, I literally don’t care. I have no preference, I’m not trying to be flippant, I just am so chill with whatever you decide and when I do care, I’ll tell you. I am so sarcastic that sometimes I don’t even realize when it’s happening. If I say something that I think is funny and you don’t laugh, I will automatically assume that you didn’t hear me and repeat myself, because you must not have heard me, there’s no way that you didn’t find it funny. I also do this thing, where I like to pretend that I’m way more important than I think I am and see what it gets me, I’m sorry if that embarrasses you.

That’s really the main points that I felt you should know. If you can live with my weaknesses and relay your weaknesses to me in a way that doesn’t make you seem like a total psycho or a terrible person, we can be friends.

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