Conspiracy Theory: The Pope is Banksy

Blessings on this holy Sunday.

Something that I feel the need to address is how f*cking rad the current Pope is.

I’m not Catholic, but this guy seems down AF.

Pope Francis was a bouncer at a night club.

Knowing this information got me really thinking. Like, what else has this man done in his life? I’m not very familiar with the whole Popal process, but for some reason, I assumed people were just born into it. Apparently, that’s not the case. There’s this whole election shebang and a run of the mill Joe Schmo can become the Pope. That’s pretty sick.

I am now super interested in what other Popes did before they were Popes? We currently have the super chill bouncer, but what if he had been a DJ. Spinning mad records. Cross mixing hymns with a Skrillex bass drop. We got Pope Frankie on the track, yo!

I also read somewhere that the Pope likes to dance. So, naturally, I pictured him laying it out in the club, fist pumping in his Pope hat, or break dancing in his robes. Step Up style. How sick is that?

Or what if he had been a graffiti artist, like Banksy? He really could have done anything before he became holy and what not. I think that’s pretty cool. #thesecretlifeofpopefrankie

Also, PS, I’m not trying to be irreverent or sacrilegious. I just genuinely think that the Pope is a badass dude. I hope that’s okay.


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