So, catering to my life of fulfillment and happiness, I have decided to be “self-employed” for the summer.
By self-employed, I mean my job is to do what my self wants.
And a lot of the time, myself just wants to kick back and relax. Typically I watch a lot of bad television and plan for the day that I get my own talk show. I’m making the big decisions early. Like, if I were to have a Jerry Springer type show, I wouldn’t want the liability of flying chairs, so I would have them bolted to the ground. And, if I were to go the Maury Povich route, I would have to have a muzzle for guests who can’t stop yelling. Or at least ear plugs. Maybe I’ll go the Steve Wilkos way and get involved in the fights, but I’ll have to hone my quick thinking skills to have comebacks for some of the jokers.
Maybe I’ll have a show like Kelly and Michael. Obviously, I’ll be the fun cute one, so I need to get a dashing but quirkily charming co-host. I’m thinking it could be John Krasinski or Chris Pratt. I could fly solo in the celebrity talk show world and pull an Ellen or an Oprah. Call my show “Maz”, have crazy giveaways and random dance breaks. Why not?
There are tons of different routes to take in the talk show world and it’s just a small percentage of how I spend my time and thoughts.
Other days, instead of thinking about my future, I just want to lay on the beach and forget about the fact that this is my last summer of self-employment and I need to live and breathe and enjoy the moment of freedom while it lasts; before I’m busting my hump in the real world for the next 35-40 years.