Play it Like Shaggy

I am a big proponent of the phrase “it wasn’t me”.

Now, I don’t mean that I say that for every situation ever, but when you actually know that something wasn’t you, and someone is trying to pin the blame or getting really angry at you indirectly for something that really wasn’t you; it’s always a smart idea to take your name right off the table.

For example:

Mom complains that there is stuff on the kitchen table; when it clearly is not stuff that belongs to me.

“Wasn’t me.”

One of my friends complains that someone tracked dirt into their car; when it’s the first time I’ve ever ridden in it.

“Wasn’t me.”

Your best friend has drunk-and-fell-up-the-stairs bruises; when, b*tch, your drunk ass tripped, no one pushed you.

“Wasn’t me.”

Sometimes you just need to pacify the fact that when people are upset and displacing their emotions on you that it is NOT in fact your fault. You should not have to feel poorly because they are angry. So, sometimes, it’s necessary to just shrug and remind them that it wasn’t you.

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