I just started my senior year of classes.
Oh my god.
When did this happen?
I’m not so sure. But after being on campus for nearly 20 minutes a ton of harsh realities sucker punched me square in the face:
- This is legitimately my last first day of school. Unless I go to grad school, in which case, I’m still going to send my mom a picture of my first day of school outfit.
- I don’t know anyone on campus. You’d think because I’m going on four years, I may have accrued a few friends or acquaintances, but no. Nope. I look around and I see all these fresh-faced youths and I feel like the crypt keeper.
- My sense of “I care so much about this!” has severely dwindled. I went to the library between two classes to take a nap.
- It’s only syllabus week. I have not had a single class that has lasted its entire duration. One of them got out in 45 minutes, another in 30 and another in 20. I actually have no idea what my full class load is going to feel like and I am terrified. If I’m already cat-napping in the study room, how the F*CK am I going to make a five class-a-day schedule all the way through?
- I keep saying things like: “Remember freshman year when…” and “Back when I lived on campus…”
- After traveling the world for more than half of the year, going back to school is more mundane than having a chocolate tootsie pop. I just don’t want it. I should be waking up in London at noon. Not Philadelphia at 8 AM.
- I don’t even own a notebook.
- My rent, cable, water, gas and electric bills all seem vastly more important than buying that book for class. Although I would love to read all about entrepreneurship and world philosophies, I also really want to catch up on Game of Thrones, so…
- I have approximately 15 months until I have to start paying back my student loans.
- I haven’t even thought about applying for my loan to cover this year.
- I have to be a real, full time, no-nonsense adult, super soon. The age of d*cking around and kicking rocks is quickly reaching its end and I have absolutely no idea at what else I’m good at doing.
Someone, anyone, send help.