Answers to Questions on a Senior is College’s DO NOT ASK List

So, the holiday weekend is coming up.

That means another trip home to see family, most likely a barbecue or six, and most definitely, a heavy dose of questions that you don’t want to answer.

I figured that I’d save my family the trouble of asking by just answering their questions here:

Q: How is school?

A: It’s really great, I can’t believe it’s senior year.

Q: How are your classes?

A: Well, I’m taking six courses, so it can be a little overwhelming some days. Not all of my courses are my favorite; but I’m powering through, it’s still early in the semester, maybe it will make a turn around.

Q: Are you excited to graduate?

A: Of course! It’s a bit nerve-wracking, but I am so excited for what the future holds.

Q: Are you dating someone?

A: No, not really, I am really trying to focus on myself and my agenda at the moment.

Q: Where are you moving after college?

A: I’m not too sure yet, but I’m keeping my options open.

So, that’s the smily, perfectly coiffed answers you will receive when you ask, but if you’d like the real answers; refer below.

Q: How is school?

A: Well, I’m going on to my 17th year now. I’d say it’s about high time that I’m done with this sh*t.

Q: How are you’re classes?

A: Bullsh*t. I don’t have single course in my major, but my school finds it necessary to make me complete and pay for 120 credits to graduate. I’m taking a course where I can literally show up, sit there for an hour and fifteen minutes and learn absolutely nothing, no matter how hard I pay attention. I’m beginning to think that I could very easily give a freshman $5 to go in my place so that I don’t lose points on attendance.

Q: Are you excited to graduate?

A: As super finished with this institution as I am, I am terrified to graduate. Like I said, this is year 17 of waking up and going to class to learn. I’m so ready to be making some money, living the life, doing something cool that I like, but my student loan bills start rolling in about mid-November, so if I don’t have a legitimate job by then, I have no choice but to move back in with my parents and suffer through a minimum wage waste land.

Q: Are you dating someone?

A: I can barely pick out an outfit in the morning, let alone try to coordinate a schedule with one other human being, let alone have to worry about things like not kissing random boys at parties; so no. I’m not dating someone. I’m dating someones, but I have no interest in picking just one. Variety is the spice of life.

Q: Where are you looking to move after college?

A: Anywhere but back home, sorry mom.

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