Jealousy is an ugly emotion. It is not fair. It strikes at random times and it makes you feel like sh*t.
There’s different types of jealousy too, some worse than others.
It’s like, if you’re jealous of a celebrity or someone with tons of money; you can just feel that jealousy for no reason. You don’t have to feel badly for coveting what they have. You can be a hater “just because”.
But, when you’re jealous of a friend, you have to take a step back and really think about it. Like, do you have a right to be jealous? It’s a giant challenge. I know that I should really be super happy for my friend, but I am so outrageously jealous that it clouds the other emotions and I just feel bitter.
I am so glad that they are getting what they want. And I guess it’s not that I don’t want them to have it; but I want it in my own way too.
I wish that I didn’t feel like an upset little brat and that I could just be happy for them; but let’s face it; jealousy makes me an upset little brat and I have a hard time feeling happy when I am feeling like sh*t for not getting my way.