An Open Letter to that Canadian F*cker~

Hey Guy from Canada~

Thanks so much for being perfect and then telling me after the fact that you live in F*CKING Canada.

You laughed at my bad jokes. You told me I was cute, which is my favorite compliment of all time by the way. You offered to climb a skyscraper for me at some point. Not really sure what that one was all about. You told your own equally bad jokes and made me laugh, a lot.

But then you had to go and live a long ass way away, and tell me that you were only in the city for a visit, which you don’t do frequently.

What’s so great about damn Canada anyway?

You don’t even know Drake. Which I find very hard to believe, you guys are both Canadian, you both probably like hockey and maple syrup and spend lots of Canadian Looney seeing Ryan Gosling films, Aye?


A Very Bummed Maz


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