Every Thought That Runs Through My Head When I’m Not Listening to You

Is this b*tch almost done?

I really need to paint my nails. Maybe I’ll paint them black. I wear black a lot, it would match.

I need new clothes.

But I’m also hungry. Should I buy new clothes or food? It’s a tough decision.

Oh sh*t. I think she just asked me something. Um, quick. Smile. Ask what she thinks.

Okay, she accepted that as a proper response. Cool. I’m clear.

I feel so sorry for people who don’t live near a zoo. Otters are so important.

Do otters have the same visual spectrum as humans?

Do they see more colors than us? Or less? OMG What if otters don’t even know how cute they are? How do otters communicate with each other? Do they make noises? OMG, what if otters could text? What would they say?

Otter 1: LOL did you see Oscar do that backflip?

Otter 2: Yeah, he’s such a show off.

Wow, I wonder if any one texted me? Would it be rude to check? Do I really care?

Oh look, Danny texted me.

What’s up Daniel? Smirky face emoji. No I’m not free later. What about tomorrow?

Oh and Bryan.

Hi Bry. Did I do the homework? Hell no.

Do I ever do the homework that isn’t graded? I feel like he should know the answer to that by now.

Is that a strng personal choice? Maybe not. But I’m skimming by without many noticing.

F*ck, she definitely just wanted me to answer yes or no to something.

“Um…. yes?”

She gives me an incredulous look.

“I meant no. Definitely no.”

And she’s back to gabbing all over again.

“Look, it’s been really great catching up, but I’m kind of busy at the moment with some important stuff that needs to be handled right this minute.”

Then she goes, “Wow Maz, you’re such a great listener. Thanks for really hearing me.”

And I’m like, yep b*tch, no prob, I have literally no idea what you were talking about, but sure.

But really, I’m like “Oh, of course, anytime!”

 

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