When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
Thank you for this question.
When I look in the mirror, I see a woman, but I don’t see me.
I see blondish hair, blueish eyes, hips that might be a little too wide for some but work for me, nice lips, a killer pair of shoes, some blemishes and scars, eyebrows on fleek and other superficial things.
I stared at myself. I stared for a while. And I thought about how when someone doesn’t know me, that’s the first impression that they get. Only what they see.
When I look a little harder I notice other things too.
I see years of laughter in the lines near my mouth.
I see the future making me slouch by weighing down my shoulders.
I see bruises and cuts scattering my body from all the clumsy times I trip or walk into something.
I see a hint of skepticism in the purse of my lip.
I see a sadness in my eyes, which could be misdiagnosed as anger or detachment by a stranger.
I see how hard I work to try to look together most of the time, even when I’d rather be in my bed. Even when I’d rather be stuffing my face with pizza. Even when I’d rather look at videos of baby otters. Even when I just don’t want to see or speak or look at another human being for upwards of 3 years.
I see me.
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