To the Fan Who’s Dealing With A Lot of Ghosts~

Question:

Going through issues with current boo and ex boo which ended on positive mutual vibes wants to reconnect. Also sights on potential new boo. What do you do?

Answer:

Listen. That is a lot of people in one go. And while most of me says, you know what, go for it! The rest of me needs more answers. From the very basic framework that you’ve laid out though, I can tell you what I would do.

Let’s just get one right off the table: the ex. No. Big nope. An ex is an ex for a reason. Though it ended on positive mutual vibes, it still ended. There’s no use dabbling back down that road. Because it could go well, and you could slip back into a comfortable familiarity, quickly, but in the long run, you’ll still remember the first break up and what caused it. It may put pressure on you to work harder as a couple or it could put a strain on the relationship. I say, leave the ex alone, if you’re friends, stay friends, but don’t move beyond that.

Okay, now let’s examine your current relationship: is it worth it? Are the issues small and easy to move beyond? Or are they big and really make you want out? If it’s the first part, then stick it out! I know that personally, once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, I start noticing all those little flaws that I thought were cute before and they start to annoy me. That’s when it becomes a choice. That’s when you have to choose to remember the good things and realize that we’re all human even if your partner slurps their cereal or never matches their socks. But, if it’s a situation where something major happened, like domestic violence or cheating, then, that’s when it is time to get out. No one deserves to be abused or cheated on and no one should ever feel that it’s okay to be a cheater or abuser.

And finally, the new one on the scene: New relationships can be fun. They can also be stressful and nerve-wracking as you sit and wait to decide if you should text or wait for them to text you. I also think that each relationship that you have, no matter the longevity, or lack-there-of, teaches you something about yourself. So, if things are very bad in your current relationship, where you’re looking for the out, maybe it is time that you move on and explore new and exciting opportunities. I do also think that if your eye is wandering away from your current relationship, that maybe it’s time that your honest with yourself and them.

I hope you sort it out, and I hope that it goes well, whatever you may choose!

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

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