A Farewell to Maz

I’ve decided to quit blogging indefinitely.

And I don’t really want to talk about it, so please don’t ask.

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I Wish I Was a Little Bit Taller

But I am a baller.

I don’t talk about what I actually do for my studies basically ever because I always complain that I don’t like it, but the other day, something weird happened. I actually liked what I am studying.

I study finance by the way.

So as dull as that may sound to others, for me, I’ve spent the last four years learning the intricacies of the stock market, stock exchange, international finance, risk diversification, and a whole list of other terms that could bore you to tears, as it has done for me many times.

But, I am on cloud nine because I had an assignment to do a crazy amount of research and recommend a stock for a real portfolio with hella money in it and my recommendation was picked up and it is making a killer return. In layman’s terms, we paid a little bit for it and now the stock is selling for a way higher price, so the portfolio is growing by the difference in the ending amount ($85) minus the first amount ($65). We’re making about $20 more per share than what we paid.

So, I mean, way to go to that company that I recommended, but really, way to go me. My intuition is strong. I’m a baller. I make mad money. I order strippers during my lunch break. I wear fedoras, have a cane and my pimp hand is so strong.

Don’t f*ck with me today. I’m the mothaf*cking wolf of Wall Street.

An Open Letter to Maz~

Hey girl- what’s up?

So…

Da f*ck were you thinking?

Like literally. How do you not see the symptoms of a man-child when they are staring you dumb in the face? He literally is 25 and funneling beer in his snapchat story. How on Earth did that not scream “hasn’t left his college days behind”?

He was seeing you because he wants to relive those good old days in the basement of the Rugby House. You should’ve seen that coming when he made numerous comments about how he hated those “frat guys” but the guys on his team were his crew and how if he hadn’t fractured his shoulder, he could have gone pro or taken them to nationals.

Come on.

You’re not stupid. Stop acting stupid.

Also, stop dating pretty idiots. Sure, it was fun for a few months, but what lacks substance brings no worth to your life. And those boys lack so much substance.

Get your sh*t together girlfriend,

XO, Maz

To the Fan Who Thinks There’s No Tomorrow

Question:

What would you do today if there is no more tomorrow?

Answer:

If there was no tomorrow I don’t know what I would do. Is the world ending for everyone or is it just me? That would change some things.

If there was no tomorrow for me I would do some reckless sh*t. I would get a tattoo and I would drink heavily and try to fall in love. I would do something that I was always afraid to do, like skydiving or bungee jumping. I would do something so cool and people could talk about it for years to come.

If there was no tomorrow for anyone, I would throw a giant party for the people that I love. I would want to be with them all. But I also think that we should all be bombed and having a great time. Reminding each other how much we love one another before it’s all over.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

 

Something Cool that Someone Told Me

You know when someone gives you a cool idea and you like it so much that you want to share it with other people? That’s what this is.

Clearly, you all know that I write a lot, I write to express my emotions and I write to tell stories and a friend gave me this idea, which I believe she got from someone else, but exactly like I said, it’s a great idea to share. So the idea is that when you start a relationship with someone, from the very first meeting write down how they make you feel. Keep it up. It’s like a thought journal, but solely dedicated to one person.

You can write down when they piss you off or when they make you so happy that you could explode. You can read through it if you forget something or need to be reminded of a special way that they make you feel.

It’s just an idea for any of you out there in the beginning stages of a relationship or maybe for some of you that just want to be able to reflect on the relationship that you currently have.

Then, when you finish the journal or the relationship, you have it as a keepsake to remind you of the things that went right and the things that went wrong, or the things that you want to improve in your next relationship.

I just thought that was a really cool idea. And, I know that I write a lot on my blog about men and the things that are going on in my life and I love sharing stories with the fanz that make me happy or laugh or scream, but having a private journal to really open up, you know about the things you don’t want your grandma reading, well that could be extremely cathartic. But mostly, I was just sharing this thought if some of you were looking for a way to express emotions but wanted to keep it personal at the same time.

Things Not to Do On the RamVan

I’m a senior. I’m too GD old to be taking the freshmen campus shuttle, but I’m also too damn old to keep these legs walking miles to campus a day (Okay, exaggeration, but too lazy is most definitely accurate). But the more I ride the shuttle, the more I realize that so many people are doing it so wrong.

  1. Wait your damn turn to get on the bus. You wait for the other people to get off. It’s like an elevator. You’re not going to shove your way on just to have it clear out two seconds later. Just slow down, it won’t leave without you. You will get on. Calm the f*ck down.
  2. If there is an open seat behind me, across from me, any damn where on the bus, do not f*cking sit with me. This tiny ass bus seat is my personal space and you’re invading it. It’s only acceptable when there is literally no other seats available. Otherwise, f*ck right off.
  3. Say thank you to the shuttle driver, think about how much you hate riding the RamVan and realize that the driver is on it for an 8 hour shift. Be gracious, you rude little assh*les.

Follow these rules and you can avoid making everyone else’s time spent on that miserable glorified school bus just a tiny bit better.