Something Cool that Someone Told Me

You know when someone gives you a cool idea and you like it so much that you want to share it with other people? That’s what this is.

Clearly, you all know that I write a lot, I write to express my emotions and I write to tell stories and a friend gave me this idea, which I believe she got from someone else, but exactly like I said, it’s a great idea to share. So the idea is that when you start a relationship with someone, from the very first meeting write down how they make you feel. Keep it up. It’s like a thought journal, but solely dedicated to one person.

You can write down when they piss you off or when they make you so happy that you could explode. You can read through it if you forget something or need to be reminded of a special way that they make you feel.

It’s just an idea for any of you out there in the beginning stages of a relationship or maybe for some of you that just want to be able to reflect on the relationship that you currently have.

Then, when you finish the journal or the relationship, you have it as a keepsake to remind you of the things that went right and the things that went wrong, or the things that you want to improve in your next relationship.

I just thought that was a really cool idea. And, I know that I write a lot on my blog about men and the things that are going on in my life and I love sharing stories with the fanz that make me happy or laugh or scream, but having a private journal to really open up, you know about the things you don’t want your grandma reading, well that could be extremely cathartic. But mostly, I was just sharing this thought if some of you were looking for a way to express emotions but wanted to keep it personal at the same time.

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It Took A While To Admit

Hey.

You might read this. And I don’t know if I’m okay with that; I guess that’s the price I pay for having a public diary. But I need this.

I tried to convince myself for months that I didn’t like you. I said, “oh it was just a fling, there were no real feelings involved”. I tried to tell myself that it was a convenience thing. You were there and I was there. Unfortunately, it’s not true.

I wasn’t and I’m not in love. Let’s not get crazy.

But it hurt like hell when you kissed me on that train platform just before midnight. I stood at the doors and waved until I watched you walk away.

And then months later; long after that last goodbye, I asked you if things would be different if I was still there, and you said, “yeah I think so”. And I made a sad playlist, cried and wrote you this blog.

You’re a giant “what if” and that’s enough to bruise my heart. I wouldn’t say it’s broken, because let’s not be melodramatic. But I want the time back. Or I want more time. I don’t know. Maybe we would have realized that it would never work because we’re both sarcastic assholes. Or maybe we’d be happy, still going on daily adventures and finding secret places where we definitely shouldn’t be wandering. Who’s to really know or say?

Always, I wish you the best.

x M

The Blog You’ll Never Read

Sometimes I sit down and I start to write and something amazing passes through my brain, to the keys, to the internet, to your very own eyes.

Sometimes I make social statements. Very rarely, I comment on politics. Occasionally, I tell you the trepidations and tribulations that consume my life.

Then, there are other times where I draw a total blank. The only idea that comes to my head is a title for a blog. But with no sustenance to back-up said title, the file gets stored in my “Drafts” folder and I move on.

Maybe I should just tweet my thoughts, but I always thought that maybe some day I could come back to them and figure out a story. But today, I have so many “body-less” drafts and the titles were just too much to not share; so I’ve decided to give you the blogs that have working titles, but will never be written. It’s up to you to imagine what the rest of the work could’ve/should’ve contained:

“Explaining How that Big Mac Merited Use of the Emergency Credit Card”

“How Many Soulmates Is It Okay to Have?”

“I Wish Sir Elton John Would Compose the Soundtrack to My Life”

“Always Ask Him If He’s A Serial Killer: Tips to Tinder Meet-Ups”

“An Apology to the Good People of Roxy: I Didn’t Mean to Puke”

“Don’t Minesweep the Club and Don’t Tell People About It Afterwards”

“My Grandma Isn’t Proud of Me Anymore, Can I Blame Her?”

“Somedays I Think My Cat is My Best Friend”

“That Mega, Uber Cryptic Tweet Was Totally @ You”

“Why Being Afraid of Killer Whales is A Legitimate Phobia”

“I Could Pay My Credit Card Bill or I Could Order Pizza: A Blog About Being an Adult”

“My New House Smells Like Beef Jerky”

Those are just some of my personal favorites. Any of them that you’d like to see me develop a bit more?

Drunken Blog, Sober Thots

It’s currently 11 PM on Saturday night, I’ve just arrived at my friend BB’s house, I have not consumed a single drink. This is “stasis” as I’m calling it. We’re going to have a little experiment. See how my train of thought progresses once every half of an hour until eventually slumber encompasses me. There will be a drink count given, and a new topic discussed. No promises to make it beyond 4 entries. I may forget.

11.30 PM – Drink Count: Half a Bottle of Chardonnay

“You know you’re in too deep when your first glass of wine contains half the bottle.” –BB.

Topics of discussion: Having a theme song while changing your clothing (“Changing the world as I change my pants” to the tune of “Joy to the World”).

Having a closet like Hannah Montana and London Tipton’s mirror that tells her how she looks as she tries on clothes.

Our friend Mike shows up! Hey Mike!

Conversation continued: The odor of wine and it’s floral fragrance that ferments the room. Cutting the dry wine with fruit punch to give it the taste of the Hawaiian tropics.

“Mmmm. Tastes like I’m in Hawaii. Who wants to get lei’d!?” –BB

12 AM – Drink Count: Resting on the Hawaiian Chardonnay

“We’ve hit a plateau.” –BB.

Topics of conversation: It took a dark turn. We talked about cancer, sh*tting your pants as an adult, Disney World and discussing reincarnation.

“If I were to die and come back I’d like to be Idina Menzel’s hairbrush.” –Mike.

12.30 AM – Drink Count: Hawaiian Punch, plus a very largess rum and Coca-Cola9

“I can’t find the pan-cils.” –BB.

Topics of conversation: Having perfect pitch in singing, then the drink tray came out and the bottle had a killer whale on it, so we discussed my open phobia of killer whales in captivity which stems from the smash hit documentary, “Blackfish.” Then I tried to play the piano and it sounded like the dog on Youtube that plays the piano (AKA, bad). Then the conversation turned to Miranda Sings and the “Charlie, Charlie” Challenge. Which turned to us trying to find pencils in order to participate in the Charlie, Charlie challenge.

“I’m not familiar.” –Mike on Sea World Killer Whales.

1 AM – Drink Count: Settling Fruit Punch and Killer Whale Rum ‘n Coke

“’He said she ain’t have no nipples’ – Kevin Hart.” – BB.

Topics of Conversation: No Conversation. Just a straight half an hour of club style dancing, wall twerking and strobe effects.

“Margarita time!” –BB.

1.30 AM – Drink Count: Punch, Killer Whale Juice, plus Mudslides!

“We’re out of ice! I had to improvise!” –BB as she makes mudslides with ice cream instead of margaritas with ice.

Topics of Conversation: Tindering for dates. Taking pictures off the wall to avoid breaking them while continuing to try to wall twerk. The consequences of wearing a hood indoors at night. Ariana Grande and her attitude problems. How BB is Tinder famous. How Maz can’t snap at all.

“I said ‘LOL I already did!’” –BB on receiving a message about enjoying her wine.

2 AM – Drink Content: Fruit punch, whale juice, milk shakes and Tequila Shots

“I just threw up out of my nose, how does that happen?” –BB.

Topics of Discussion: The benefits of swearpants. “I feel like King of the Hill!”, “Where did my life just go?”, 80’s mashups are so the rage. Let’s do it. We can make an 80’s mashup. Like Glee!

:Now I taste all the tequila that didn’t make it down my throat!” =BB.

2.30 AM – Drinks: Everything but the kitchen sink and angry Orchard Hard Ciders

“I need to snort some soap to get the smell away” –BB.

Topics of Discussion: I gotta stand up cause I gotta pee. Ashton Irwin is a babe. Like. A lot. He’s so cute. Huey Lewis said that it’s the power of love that makes me feel this way. I want ot be Jesse’s girl, to make Rick jealous. None of my English matches are awake on TRiner. Whip it by Devo is amaze. You must whio it. What did we talk about> cannot be determined. “Cha” on Tinder. Are yoy even real? That’s not even a name. what? Sorry Noah. Comma comma comma chameleon.

“Excuse me. That is mot a name sir.: – BB.

9 AM –Drink Count: One Gallon of Water

“I have to throw out my toothbrush and try again.” –BB.

To the Fan Who Needs Some Veritaserum~

Question:

What is better the truth even if it hurts, or a lie?

Answer:

Truth. The truth is always better.

I grew up in a house where lying was basically a cardinal sin. Okay, don’t get me wrong, stupid little white lies don’t count. Like if someone cooks you a meal, they put a ton of work into it and you don’t love it, just pretend. That is a situation where fibbing is okay to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

But full out lying to people. That is bad, very bad. Wouldn’t you rather just deal with the consequences of telling a truth rather than lying and being found out. If you lie and get caught, not only are their feelings hurt because they found out what you truly thought, but they’re probably pissed that you lied about it. So, it’s like double bad than just being upfront and the other person not liking your opinion.

End point: liars don’t prosper. Just tell the damn truth, at the end of the day you’ll have a clear conscience and eventually the people that you told a hurtful truth to will appreciate your honesty, even if it wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear.

XO, Maz

I want to hear from you!

Questions, comments, concerns, jokes? Place them in my anonymous ask box:

http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

To the Fan Who Wants to Know Me ~

Question:

Can you describe your life in five words?

Answer:

Someone call a life guard. This blog’s about to get deep. I had to really ponder this a lot.

There are plenty of words that come to my mind when someone says, “describe yourself using only blah blah blah amount of words,” but I’ve never really thought if I would use those words to describe my entire life in general. Thus, a serious brainstorming session occurred and I really had to pull for the “why” of some words. This is what I came up with:

First Word: Wild

Why? Let’s face it. I live a pretty insane life. I am a constant mover. I have a hard time sitting still. I always look for fun and usually succeed in finding it. What I find even more wild about my life is that I’m only 20. I still have so much time to say and do and see everything that I’ve ever imagined.

Second Word: Fortunate

Why? I barely know anyone who has been afforded the opportunities that I have had. I am one of the luckiest people on the entire planet, I’d argue. I have been so fortunate to have the family that I have. The mother who has supported me and been my biggest cheerleader in times when I probably didn’t deserve it. The stepdad who I know would drop anything in a second if he thought I was in even a tiny bit of trouble. The brother who can always keep me laughing, even on the days when it seems impossible. The father who has not given up on trying to know me, even though I can make it hard sometimes.

Third Word: Loved

Why? Well, my last point really also tied to this one. But, I’d also have to include my friends here. I have been so stupidly lucky to have found people in my life that are so capable of loving my crazy ass. Yes, obviously, I know that my family loves me. It’s basically bred in their DNA to have some fondness for me. But I’m talking about the ones that started as total strangers. The ones that have no genetic ties to me at all, but have somehow opened their hearts and allowed me to occupy some space.

Final Word: Triumphant

Why? Triumphant seems like such a snooty word, but I really don’t mean it in that way. I mean it in a more general sense that I am a very different person now, than I was 5 years ago. Ask 15 year old me what I saw in my future, the honest answer probably would have been “nothing.” I feel like I have totally triumphed over that humdrum human being. I have grown so much. I have learned so much about myself. I have travelled, I have laughed until I cried, I have fallen in and out of love on a weekly basis, I have made more mistakes than I can count, but ultimately, I have been so alive. I have triumphed in my allowing myself to be unapologetically happy.

I know that’s only four words, but I felt like, including a fifth wouldn’t be fair. How could I totally describe my life in five word if I have so much more living to do?

What about you? What are your words?

XO, Maz

I want to hear from you!

Any more questions, comments, concerns, jokes? Place them in my anonymous ask box:

http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

I Need Your Help

So, I decided that I really want to start an Advice Day, if you will. It would be like Favorite Fashion Fridays, but instead it would be a day that you can ask me for any advice in the world. I would love to answer questions or take suggestions of a type of topic that you would like me to write about! I want to be more interactive, after all, the blog is called Maz for the Fanz, not Maz for the Maz, it should be a conversation.

I’m definitely not shy, so all topics are fair game, and if it’s something that I don’t know, I will do my best to figure it out or direct you to someone who can. And let’s face it, who wouldn’t want a rational third party answer to life’s bigger questions? And I know that my blog tends to lean toward a female audience typically, so I would love to hear from some guys of what you’d like to read about or if I can help you figure out the twisted map of a female brain.

For any questions, advice inquiries, comments (all anonymous) use this link:

ask.fm/mazforthefanz