Something Cool that Someone Told Me

You know when someone gives you a cool idea and you like it so much that you want to share it with other people? That’s what this is.

Clearly, you all know that I write a lot, I write to express my emotions and I write to tell stories and a friend gave me this idea, which I believe she got from someone else, but exactly like I said, it’s a great idea to share. So the idea is that when you start a relationship with someone, from the very first meeting write down how they make you feel. Keep it up. It’s like a thought journal, but solely dedicated to one person.

You can write down when they piss you off or when they make you so happy that you could explode. You can read through it if you forget something or need to be reminded of a special way that they make you feel.

It’s just an idea for any of you out there in the beginning stages of a relationship or maybe for some of you that just want to be able to reflect on the relationship that you currently have.

Then, when you finish the journal or the relationship, you have it as a keepsake to remind you of the things that went right and the things that went wrong, or the things that you want to improve in your next relationship.

I just thought that was a really cool idea. And, I know that I write a lot on my blog about men and the things that are going on in my life and I love sharing stories with the fanz that make me happy or laugh or scream, but having a private journal to really open up, you know about the things you don’t want your grandma reading, well that could be extremely cathartic. But mostly, I was just sharing this thought if some of you were looking for a way to express emotions but wanted to keep it personal at the same time.

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To the Fan Who Wants to (Booty) Call Out~

Question:

How do I end a bad booty call situation?

Answer:

AYYYYYE. Good for you for getting that booty. Proud of you.

I’m also super sorry that it’s not going full speed ahead as planned.

I feel that I need to ask some follow up questions to give an appropriate answer to this question because as is, I’m not sure how to define “bad”.

So, in terms of just general badness, maybe they’re bad at sexy time, maybe there’s something bad about the situation, maybe you’re just over it, whatever the case may be, you owe this person nothing. They are a booty call, not your significant other. I don’t recommend just ghosting them. That is so rude. But a quick text explaining that: “hey, I’m not into this anymore” is a fair response. It leaves no real room for argument or whatever. It’s just an end. It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s to the point.

In terms of ending a booty call situation because somebody caught feelings, well that’s entirely different. This is not “Friends With Benefits”. You are not Justin Timberlake or Mila Kunis. If you’re trying to hook your booty call into a relationship, homie, you went about this all wrong. Relationships do not start with sex. Well, maybe a small percentage do, but for the most part, you probably want to get to know them first. Go on a day date, go to the park, learn something about them before you’re flying down the highway in an Uber back to their place with your pants half off.

But then again, a booty call situation never starts with the anticipation of feelings. So, I understand in a way. But if you’re the one who has the feelings, you either need to reality check and understand that this was a strictly sexual thing, cut ties and move on; or you have to tell the other person and maybe see if they reciprocate the feelings.

Or, on the flip side, if you are on the receiving end of the feels and you just really aren’t feeling it; again, don’t ghost. But you can respond by saying: “hey look, I thought that we both had a pretty clear idea of what this was going into and I’m just not looking for anything more, we should probably stop because I don’t want to lead you on.” That’s totally fair. It’s direct and yeah, it may sting them at first; but in the long run, you’re doing the right thing.

Keep it real, homies. Keep it real.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box:

http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz