To the Fan Who Needs to Know About Flaws~

Question:

What is your biggest insecurity?

Answer:

Insecurities are a tough thing to talk about. We all have them, but when it’s something that we suffer from, we don’t want to bring it to the attention of other people and shine light on it when we are trying to forget or hide the flaw from ourselves.

I have major internal conflicts every other week about the fact that I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life and that I don’t have a set plan yet.

I have insecurities about outward appearance. Being a 21 year old female in a college setting, it’s hard not to compare myself to the people around me. It’s hard not to say, oh if only my hips were a little more slim, or if only my skin were a little more clear.

But then I have to step back and think about, do these things bother me or do they bother me because I think that it’s how I “should” appear based on popular society’s opinion on beauty in women my age?

I am a beautiful girl with a complex and witty personality. Sure, I may not always feel like I meet some star dad of physical beauty, but I know that I can set my own standard. If I am happy with myself and who I am, to hell with the opinion of others.

I feel fortunate that I am able to say these things, because not everyone can win their battle with body confidence. Not everyone can love the skin that their in. But there are organizations out there aimed at helping these people see their own beauty. There are people who want to help them thrive and understand that these blockades and walls that we put up internally, they can be knocked down. The National Organization for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated disorders is one of those organizations. I strongly encourage everyone, whether you suffer with issues in body confidence or eating disorders or you don’t, support this organization. Help save lives. Help spread the word that we are all beautiful, no matter what.

Check out ANAD’s webpage here: http://www.anad.org

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

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An Open Letter to an Ex-Whatever~

Hi! I’m sorry I went AWOL last week, I had the flu and couldn’t determine up from down, let alone write anything worth while. So, we interrupt our normal Ask Maz Monday programming to give you what was promised last week, which were “love” letters; so without furtherer ado, Love Letter #1:

Dear Ex-Whatever,

I have to admit that I was a little surprised when I got your text. I was a little surprised that one) I was hearing from you and two) you weren’t being a total d*uchebag. Actually, change that little surprise to shocked. I was shocked.

I was a little excited, because let’s face it, you’re hot. But then I remembered how you treated me. And before I replied with, “hey! I’m good, how have you been? We should catch up some time!” I stepped away, took a picture of the trashcan in my kitchen and sent it with the caption: “this reminded me of you.”

Just because you have a pretty face, doesn’t mean you can treat a person the way that you did and then expect to come back whenever you’re bored or between flings. It doesn’t work like that. I’m too busy for the games you play and I respect myself far too much than to allow myself to be the second choice. So next time you think about texting me, unless it’s an apology and a 15 step plan of how you’ve changed and intend to be better, you can politely f*ck off.

Have a great V-Day, hope you get VD,

Maz

To the Fan Who Wants to Know About My Skills~

Question:

What is something you wish you were better at?

Answer:

I’m pretty great at a lot of things, as most people are. But, of course there are things that I wish that I was a little better at doing.

While I love how sassy and sarcastic I can be, I really wish that I was better at expressing emotion in a way that truly displays how I feel. I’m funny, but sometimes my funniness leads to dishonesty about what is really going on in my head. I feel like I am really good at detecting this is other people. I can normally see the emotions in someone’s face or eyes, even if they are cracking a joke and call them out on it. I like to call that my emotional intelligence with other people. But, my own capability of hiding that, leads to a lot of bottled up frustration, which leads to overthinking and ultimately, when the emotions do seep through, it’s in a very big way. It happens very rarely, but when it does, it’s almost nearly the end of the world, each time.

So, I guess, I’d like to get better at handling the ups and downs at a steady pace as opposed to handling the total fallout every once in a while.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

College is Hard

I don’t wanna. I can’t. Stop making me.

I’m at that point where I am so close to graduation, so it would be a total waste of an investment of $80k+ to drop out, but not gonna lie, I consider it daily.

College would not be so bad if there wasn’t homework and we got paid to be there. Oh right, so a job.

College is a job and I’m not even getting paid. And don’t whine at me with this bullish*t about “you get paid with grades and a degree.” No. That is not payment. That is good collateral damage after sleepless nights, billions of written words, grade haggling with professors, and so many meals not made by my chef/genius mom.

I thought that last semester was hard. I was a whiny lil b*tch because I was heart broken, I was eating my feelings and London was 3,500 miles away. But no, nope, I think it might just be that being a senior sucks.

I can’t d*ck around with my friends every single night because the thesis writing has amassed in not sleeping due to writing endlessly. I can’t keep drinking because my liver can’t handle it. Neither can my metabolism. I have to find a job because I have to pay my student loans six months after graduation. I have to pay rent and bills and still have spending money when my friends want to do adult things like having real conversations over a nice dinner. What the hell?

I’m over it. Can I be a junior again? Less commitment to adulthood.

 

To the Fan Who’s Dealing With A Lot of Ghosts~

Question:

Going through issues with current boo and ex boo which ended on positive mutual vibes wants to reconnect. Also sights on potential new boo. What do you do?

Answer:

Listen. That is a lot of people in one go. And while most of me says, you know what, go for it! The rest of me needs more answers. From the very basic framework that you’ve laid out though, I can tell you what I would do.

Let’s just get one right off the table: the ex. No. Big nope. An ex is an ex for a reason. Though it ended on positive mutual vibes, it still ended. There’s no use dabbling back down that road. Because it could go well, and you could slip back into a comfortable familiarity, quickly, but in the long run, you’ll still remember the first break up and what caused it. It may put pressure on you to work harder as a couple or it could put a strain on the relationship. I say, leave the ex alone, if you’re friends, stay friends, but don’t move beyond that.

Okay, now let’s examine your current relationship: is it worth it? Are the issues small and easy to move beyond? Or are they big and really make you want out? If it’s the first part, then stick it out! I know that personally, once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, I start noticing all those little flaws that I thought were cute before and they start to annoy me. That’s when it becomes a choice. That’s when you have to choose to remember the good things and realize that we’re all human even if your partner slurps their cereal or never matches their socks. But, if it’s a situation where something major happened, like domestic violence or cheating, then, that’s when it is time to get out. No one deserves to be abused or cheated on and no one should ever feel that it’s okay to be a cheater or abuser.

And finally, the new one on the scene: New relationships can be fun. They can also be stressful and nerve-wracking as you sit and wait to decide if you should text or wait for them to text you. I also think that each relationship that you have, no matter the longevity, or lack-there-of, teaches you something about yourself. So, if things are very bad in your current relationship, where you’re looking for the out, maybe it is time that you move on and explore new and exciting opportunities. I do also think that if your eye is wandering away from your current relationship, that maybe it’s time that your honest with yourself and them.

I hope you sort it out, and I hope that it goes well, whatever you may choose!

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

Don’t Laugh

Never laugh at someone when they tell you their dreams. Ever.

If someone tells you that their dream in life is to own a duck farm and learn how to communicate with said ducks; you ask them if there is anything within your power that you could do to help them.

You don’t chuckle and say that it’s ridiculous.

You don’t tell them that they are wasting their time.

You don’t tell them that it’s a waste of their college degree, especially if you’re someone who has done nothing to contribute to any part of their education, whether it be financial or moral support.

How dare you judge the dream of another? Sure. Maybe it’s not a typical office job or even a steady life guaranteed, but if it’s what is going to make them happy, why would you scoff at that? Isn’t the end goal to be happy? Why should they conform to what your dream for them is if in the long run it just makes them as miserable as you are?

It’s not that they need your help or your guidance, but just the notion that even though it’s not your preference, you will support their decision because you love them.

I just don’t see why it’s so hard.

 

To the Fan Who Wants to Go But Doesn’t Know How~

Question:

I’ve lived in one place my whole life and for the first time I want to get away. Should I go?

Answer:

In short, yes.

Go. See something. Explore.

Make mistakes and forgive yourself for those mistakes.

I think that it is so important for a person to see more of the world than their comfort zone. If I had it my way, citizenship wouldn’t be an issue and everyone could just live where they please, when they please.

Personally, I was always encouraged to travel growing up. Well, by my mom and step dad at least. The world was my oyster and they wanted me to go explore it. And now, at the age of 21, I’ve seen more foreign countries than I have seen states in my own country, which I’m also working on.

I have lived on a different continent than my comfort zone and at first, it was a scary idea. Being so far away from my family and established friends, but guess what? You make new friends and you get to build your own family. It’s not as big of a deal as it’s hyped up to be. And I always know that my biological family is a FaceTime call away. I don’t have the luxury of being able to just fly home for a weekend because flights are hella expensive, but when I do get a chance to go back and see my family and friends, it is way more meaningful and we have more to catch up on and we enjoy our time together more than if I am living an hour away from them by car and visiting every couple of days.

So, even though it may seem like a huge leap, and at first, yeah, you will get homesick and it might suck a little bit, but once you’re past that and you find where you belong in a new ecosystem, it changes you. It makes you realize things about you that you may not have found in your own backyard. It helps you to grow. It helps you to learn. It helps you to figure out who “you” are.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box:

http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz