To the Fan Who Needs to Know About Flaws~

Question:

What is your biggest insecurity?

Answer:

Insecurities are a tough thing to talk about. We all have them, but when it’s something that we suffer from, we don’t want to bring it to the attention of other people and shine light on it when we are trying to forget or hide the flaw from ourselves.

I have major internal conflicts every other week about the fact that I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life and that I don’t have a set plan yet.

I have insecurities about outward appearance. Being a 21 year old female in a college setting, it’s hard not to compare myself to the people around me. It’s hard not to say, oh if only my hips were a little more slim, or if only my skin were a little more clear.

But then I have to step back and think about, do these things bother me or do they bother me because I think that it’s how I “should” appear based on popular society’s opinion on beauty in women my age?

I am a beautiful girl with a complex and witty personality. Sure, I may not always feel like I meet some star dad of physical beauty, but I know that I can set my own standard. If I am happy with myself and who I am, to hell with the opinion of others.

I feel fortunate that I am able to say these things, because not everyone can win their battle with body confidence. Not everyone can love the skin that their in. But there are organizations out there aimed at helping these people see their own beauty. There are people who want to help them thrive and understand that these blockades and walls that we put up internally, they can be knocked down. The National Organization for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated disorders is one of those organizations. I strongly encourage everyone, whether you suffer with issues in body confidence or eating disorders or you don’t, support this organization. Help save lives. Help spread the word that we are all beautiful, no matter what.

Check out ANAD’s webpage here: http://www.anad.org

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

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To the Fan Who Wants to Know About My Skills~

Question:

What is something you wish you were better at?

Answer:

I’m pretty great at a lot of things, as most people are. But, of course there are things that I wish that I was a little better at doing.

While I love how sassy and sarcastic I can be, I really wish that I was better at expressing emotion in a way that truly displays how I feel. I’m funny, but sometimes my funniness leads to dishonesty about what is really going on in my head. I feel like I am really good at detecting this is other people. I can normally see the emotions in someone’s face or eyes, even if they are cracking a joke and call them out on it. I like to call that my emotional intelligence with other people. But, my own capability of hiding that, leads to a lot of bottled up frustration, which leads to overthinking and ultimately, when the emotions do seep through, it’s in a very big way. It happens very rarely, but when it does, it’s almost nearly the end of the world, each time.

So, I guess, I’d like to get better at handling the ups and downs at a steady pace as opposed to handling the total fallout every once in a while.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

To the Fan Who’s Dealing With A Lot of Ghosts~

Question:

Going through issues with current boo and ex boo which ended on positive mutual vibes wants to reconnect. Also sights on potential new boo. What do you do?

Answer:

Listen. That is a lot of people in one go. And while most of me says, you know what, go for it! The rest of me needs more answers. From the very basic framework that you’ve laid out though, I can tell you what I would do.

Let’s just get one right off the table: the ex. No. Big nope. An ex is an ex for a reason. Though it ended on positive mutual vibes, it still ended. There’s no use dabbling back down that road. Because it could go well, and you could slip back into a comfortable familiarity, quickly, but in the long run, you’ll still remember the first break up and what caused it. It may put pressure on you to work harder as a couple or it could put a strain on the relationship. I say, leave the ex alone, if you’re friends, stay friends, but don’t move beyond that.

Okay, now let’s examine your current relationship: is it worth it? Are the issues small and easy to move beyond? Or are they big and really make you want out? If it’s the first part, then stick it out! I know that personally, once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, I start noticing all those little flaws that I thought were cute before and they start to annoy me. That’s when it becomes a choice. That’s when you have to choose to remember the good things and realize that we’re all human even if your partner slurps their cereal or never matches their socks. But, if it’s a situation where something major happened, like domestic violence or cheating, then, that’s when it is time to get out. No one deserves to be abused or cheated on and no one should ever feel that it’s okay to be a cheater or abuser.

And finally, the new one on the scene: New relationships can be fun. They can also be stressful and nerve-wracking as you sit and wait to decide if you should text or wait for them to text you. I also think that each relationship that you have, no matter the longevity, or lack-there-of, teaches you something about yourself. So, if things are very bad in your current relationship, where you’re looking for the out, maybe it is time that you move on and explore new and exciting opportunities. I do also think that if your eye is wandering away from your current relationship, that maybe it’s time that your honest with yourself and them.

I hope you sort it out, and I hope that it goes well, whatever you may choose!

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

To the Fan Who Wants to Go But Doesn’t Know How~

Question:

I’ve lived in one place my whole life and for the first time I want to get away. Should I go?

Answer:

In short, yes.

Go. See something. Explore.

Make mistakes and forgive yourself for those mistakes.

I think that it is so important for a person to see more of the world than their comfort zone. If I had it my way, citizenship wouldn’t be an issue and everyone could just live where they please, when they please.

Personally, I was always encouraged to travel growing up. Well, by my mom and step dad at least. The world was my oyster and they wanted me to go explore it. And now, at the age of 21, I’ve seen more foreign countries than I have seen states in my own country, which I’m also working on.

I have lived on a different continent than my comfort zone and at first, it was a scary idea. Being so far away from my family and established friends, but guess what? You make new friends and you get to build your own family. It’s not as big of a deal as it’s hyped up to be. And I always know that my biological family is a FaceTime call away. I don’t have the luxury of being able to just fly home for a weekend because flights are hella expensive, but when I do get a chance to go back and see my family and friends, it is way more meaningful and we have more to catch up on and we enjoy our time together more than if I am living an hour away from them by car and visiting every couple of days.

So, even though it may seem like a huge leap, and at first, yeah, you will get homesick and it might suck a little bit, but once you’re past that and you find where you belong in a new ecosystem, it changes you. It makes you realize things about you that you may not have found in your own backyard. It helps you to grow. It helps you to learn. It helps you to figure out who “you” are.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box:

http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

Waiting For It to Be Easy

Love is complicated. In any form.

And there are so many forms of it.

There are people that I love so much that I want to punch them in the face quite regularly. That’s the “you drive me crazy, but I love you” love.

There are people that I don’t necessarily love, but I love little things about them, like their sense of humor the way they hang onto my every word as I tell a story. That’s the “I love how you” love

There are people that I love to challenge. It keeps me grounded and helps me to remember the things that I don’t want. That’s the “I don’t like you, but I appreciate what you teach me” love.

Then there’s the fact that you can love someone without being in love with them. When you’re in love with someone, you can fall out of love with them, but when you just love them, that’s trickier. That’s not so easy to get rid of. They just have this little or big piece of you that you can’t get back, which super sucks at times. I call that one the “f*ck, I didn’t mean for this to happen and now I can’t take it back” love.

I think often times we get so wrapped up in the fact that love is such a large emotion. It’s a big concept and it comes in many forms.  It can also be something microscopic. It’s the smallest things in the world, like a smile or a look or a melody sung in the shower.

There are so many subtle nuances when it comes to love and being in love.

And I just want to know, will it ever be easy?

The Passive Person Problem

I have this problem. And it involves being super passive.

It’s not really a problem for me per say, but a problem that other people have with me.

I have absolutely no problem doing my own thing and going on with my day to day life. It’s a problem for other people because it makes me a “bad communicator.”

I rarely text people first. I don’t really call people. I don’t usually keep up with them on a day to day basis. It’s really not that I don’t care, because I do. It’s just not typically my first idea when I wake up, to contact everyone that I know and ask them how their day is going. I always figure that if they have news or something important that I MUST know, they have my number, they’ll drop me a line.

My closest friends understand it and know that just because sometimes they don’t hear from me for a few weeks, it doesn’t mean that I’m mad or upset at them, it honestly just means that nothing is really going on or that I’m caught up in something important or stressful. I’m just doing my thing and living. They know that if they need me, they can call with no hesitation in my answer and they know that if I need them, I will call.

The other things is that I’m also really great about picking up where I left off with people when I see them in person. I can sometimes go 6-8 months without seeing my oldest best friend, and usually we’ll only talk on the phone maybe every three-five weeks, but when we’re together, we don’t really think about that and we have so much more to catch up on.

So, I guess what I’m getting at is this: to all of the people out there who think that I’m ignoring them or don’t care. I really promise that I’m not and I do care. I just assume that if I don’t hear from you, everything is going alright, just like if I don’t contact you, everything is usually alright for me too. Just because we don’t talk every day, it doesn’t mean that I don’t think about you or care about your well being, it just means that I don’t want to interrupt anything if you have a good flow going.

To the Fan Who Needs to Know About Life~

Question:

Why do some people enjoy life and others don’t?

Answer:

Simple. Some people are lovers of life other people are just livers of life.

Wow liver. Gross.

But what I mean is that some people enjoy everything for what it is in that moment. They love the life that they are living and live it to its fullest. They are not content with settling and hunt for the best thing out there, finding new adventures or hobbies or interests in life’s extraordinary ecosystem of opportunity.

And some people live life mundanely, dreading each passing day because either they don’t know what’s out there or they don’t care to look for something better.

I think everyone has a tendency to fall into both categories from time to time. I definitely have my days where I can’t be bothered to get out of bed for more than an hour. BUT I also have this insatiable wanderlust. I want to see what there is in the world. I can’t settle because what if by settling I miss out on the greatest thing that could ever happen to me?

Just some food for thought.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box:

http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz