To the Fan Who Needs to Know About Flaws~

Question:

What is your biggest insecurity?

Answer:

Insecurities are a tough thing to talk about. We all have them, but when it’s something that we suffer from, we don’t want to bring it to the attention of other people and shine light on it when we are trying to forget or hide the flaw from ourselves.

I have major internal conflicts every other week about the fact that I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life and that I don’t have a set plan yet.

I have insecurities about outward appearance. Being a 21 year old female in a college setting, it’s hard not to compare myself to the people around me. It’s hard not to say, oh if only my hips were a little more slim, or if only my skin were a little more clear.

But then I have to step back and think about, do these things bother me or do they bother me because I think that it’s how I “should” appear based on popular society’s opinion on beauty in women my age?

I am a beautiful girl with a complex and witty personality. Sure, I may not always feel like I meet some star dad of physical beauty, but I know that I can set my own standard. If I am happy with myself and who I am, to hell with the opinion of others.

I feel fortunate that I am able to say these things, because not everyone can win their battle with body confidence. Not everyone can love the skin that their in. But there are organizations out there aimed at helping these people see their own beauty. There are people who want to help them thrive and understand that these blockades and walls that we put up internally, they can be knocked down. The National Organization for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated disorders is one of those organizations. I strongly encourage everyone, whether you suffer with issues in body confidence or eating disorders or you don’t, support this organization. Help save lives. Help spread the word that we are all beautiful, no matter what.

Check out ANAD’s webpage here: http://www.anad.org

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

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An Open Letter to an Ex-Whatever~

Hi! I’m sorry I went AWOL last week, I had the flu and couldn’t determine up from down, let alone write anything worth while. So, we interrupt our normal Ask Maz Monday programming to give you what was promised last week, which were “love” letters; so without furtherer ado, Love Letter #1:

Dear Ex-Whatever,

I have to admit that I was a little surprised when I got your text. I was a little surprised that one) I was hearing from you and two) you weren’t being a total d*uchebag. Actually, change that little surprise to shocked. I was shocked.

I was a little excited, because let’s face it, you’re hot. But then I remembered how you treated me. And before I replied with, “hey! I’m good, how have you been? We should catch up some time!” I stepped away, took a picture of the trashcan in my kitchen and sent it with the caption: “this reminded me of you.”

Just because you have a pretty face, doesn’t mean you can treat a person the way that you did and then expect to come back whenever you’re bored or between flings. It doesn’t work like that. I’m too busy for the games you play and I respect myself far too much than to allow myself to be the second choice. So next time you think about texting me, unless it’s an apology and a 15 step plan of how you’ve changed and intend to be better, you can politely f*ck off.

Have a great V-Day, hope you get VD,

Maz

I’m Just Winging it Too

Recently, I started seeing a new guy. And it’s been going well, so naturally, I tell my friends about it. And naturally they want to see pictures, so I stalk his Instagram for some screenshots and I have to say, hands down the most attractive guy I’ve ever been with; not that I didn’t know that prior to Instagram stalking. But he’s a model type and all that. So when I show them his pictures, my friends, after picking their jaws up off the floor, want to know how I’ve managed this one.

Guys I have literally no clue.

I’m honestly pretty confused by the situation. All I can say is that the most important thing that I’ve done is been 100% myself. I have gone on dates with people in the past where I’ve pretended to be interested in things that they’re interested in or I’ve acted a little less intelligent and sassy than I actually am. This time, none of that bullsh*t. I don’t dumb myself down. I don’t pretend to like football. I don’t say that I need help with things because “I just don’t know how” to do them. I don’t pretend that I can handle watching scary movies and then sit up for six nights in a row because I can’t sleep. I don’t make myself look more or less available than I actually am.

And I will say this. A woman who is unapologetically herself is the most beautiful creature in the universe.

When I pulled away that veil of pretenses and the things I thought I should be to get a man’s attention or keep his interest, I realized that all I have to do is show him me. Show him that I’m confident, and funny, and intelligent, and have substance. I’m not single dimensional and I’m not a damsel in distress. I know what I want and I know what I don’t want. I am capable of getting any man I so desire because I don’t buy into the other bullish*t. At some point, I hope all of you can figure that out. Be you and be proud. The rest falls in line. Unless you’re a total b*tch. Then, be nicer.

 

Don’t Laugh

Never laugh at someone when they tell you their dreams. Ever.

If someone tells you that their dream in life is to own a duck farm and learn how to communicate with said ducks; you ask them if there is anything within your power that you could do to help them.

You don’t chuckle and say that it’s ridiculous.

You don’t tell them that they are wasting their time.

You don’t tell them that it’s a waste of their college degree, especially if you’re someone who has done nothing to contribute to any part of their education, whether it be financial or moral support.

How dare you judge the dream of another? Sure. Maybe it’s not a typical office job or even a steady life guaranteed, but if it’s what is going to make them happy, why would you scoff at that? Isn’t the end goal to be happy? Why should they conform to what your dream for them is if in the long run it just makes them as miserable as you are?

It’s not that they need your help or your guidance, but just the notion that even though it’s not your preference, you will support their decision because you love them.

I just don’t see why it’s so hard.

 

To the Fan Who Wants to Go But Doesn’t Know How~

Question:

I’ve lived in one place my whole life and for the first time I want to get away. Should I go?

Answer:

In short, yes.

Go. See something. Explore.

Make mistakes and forgive yourself for those mistakes.

I think that it is so important for a person to see more of the world than their comfort zone. If I had it my way, citizenship wouldn’t be an issue and everyone could just live where they please, when they please.

Personally, I was always encouraged to travel growing up. Well, by my mom and step dad at least. The world was my oyster and they wanted me to go explore it. And now, at the age of 21, I’ve seen more foreign countries than I have seen states in my own country, which I’m also working on.

I have lived on a different continent than my comfort zone and at first, it was a scary idea. Being so far away from my family and established friends, but guess what? You make new friends and you get to build your own family. It’s not as big of a deal as it’s hyped up to be. And I always know that my biological family is a FaceTime call away. I don’t have the luxury of being able to just fly home for a weekend because flights are hella expensive, but when I do get a chance to go back and see my family and friends, it is way more meaningful and we have more to catch up on and we enjoy our time together more than if I am living an hour away from them by car and visiting every couple of days.

So, even though it may seem like a huge leap, and at first, yeah, you will get homesick and it might suck a little bit, but once you’re past that and you find where you belong in a new ecosystem, it changes you. It makes you realize things about you that you may not have found in your own backyard. It helps you to grow. It helps you to learn. It helps you to figure out who “you” are.

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box:

http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz

Waiting For It to Be Easy

Love is complicated. In any form.

And there are so many forms of it.

There are people that I love so much that I want to punch them in the face quite regularly. That’s the “you drive me crazy, but I love you” love.

There are people that I don’t necessarily love, but I love little things about them, like their sense of humor the way they hang onto my every word as I tell a story. That’s the “I love how you” love

There are people that I love to challenge. It keeps me grounded and helps me to remember the things that I don’t want. That’s the “I don’t like you, but I appreciate what you teach me” love.

Then there’s the fact that you can love someone without being in love with them. When you’re in love with someone, you can fall out of love with them, but when you just love them, that’s trickier. That’s not so easy to get rid of. They just have this little or big piece of you that you can’t get back, which super sucks at times. I call that one the “f*ck, I didn’t mean for this to happen and now I can’t take it back” love.

I think often times we get so wrapped up in the fact that love is such a large emotion. It’s a big concept and it comes in many forms.  It can also be something microscopic. It’s the smallest things in the world, like a smile or a look or a melody sung in the shower.

There are so many subtle nuances when it comes to love and being in love.

And I just want to know, will it ever be easy?

The Passive Person Problem

I have this problem. And it involves being super passive.

It’s not really a problem for me per say, but a problem that other people have with me.

I have absolutely no problem doing my own thing and going on with my day to day life. It’s a problem for other people because it makes me a “bad communicator.”

I rarely text people first. I don’t really call people. I don’t usually keep up with them on a day to day basis. It’s really not that I don’t care, because I do. It’s just not typically my first idea when I wake up, to contact everyone that I know and ask them how their day is going. I always figure that if they have news or something important that I MUST know, they have my number, they’ll drop me a line.

My closest friends understand it and know that just because sometimes they don’t hear from me for a few weeks, it doesn’t mean that I’m mad or upset at them, it honestly just means that nothing is really going on or that I’m caught up in something important or stressful. I’m just doing my thing and living. They know that if they need me, they can call with no hesitation in my answer and they know that if I need them, I will call.

The other things is that I’m also really great about picking up where I left off with people when I see them in person. I can sometimes go 6-8 months without seeing my oldest best friend, and usually we’ll only talk on the phone maybe every three-five weeks, but when we’re together, we don’t really think about that and we have so much more to catch up on.

So, I guess what I’m getting at is this: to all of the people out there who think that I’m ignoring them or don’t care. I really promise that I’m not and I do care. I just assume that if I don’t hear from you, everything is going alright, just like if I don’t contact you, everything is usually alright for me too. Just because we don’t talk every day, it doesn’t mean that I don’t think about you or care about your well being, it just means that I don’t want to interrupt anything if you have a good flow going.