Something Cool that Someone Told Me

You know when someone gives you a cool idea and you like it so much that you want to share it with other people? That’s what this is.

Clearly, you all know that I write a lot, I write to express my emotions and I write to tell stories and a friend gave me this idea, which I believe she got from someone else, but exactly like I said, it’s a great idea to share. So the idea is that when you start a relationship with someone, from the very first meeting write down how they make you feel. Keep it up. It’s like a thought journal, but solely dedicated to one person.

You can write down when they piss you off or when they make you so happy that you could explode. You can read through it if you forget something or need to be reminded of a special way that they make you feel.

It’s just an idea for any of you out there in the beginning stages of a relationship or maybe for some of you that just want to be able to reflect on the relationship that you currently have.

Then, when you finish the journal or the relationship, you have it as a keepsake to remind you of the things that went right and the things that went wrong, or the things that you want to improve in your next relationship.

I just thought that was a really cool idea. And, I know that I write a lot on my blog about men and the things that are going on in my life and I love sharing stories with the fanz that make me happy or laugh or scream, but having a private journal to really open up, you know about the things you don’t want your grandma reading, well that could be extremely cathartic. But mostly, I was just sharing this thought if some of you were looking for a way to express emotions but wanted to keep it personal at the same time.

An Open Letter to the Boy I’ll Always Love~

Hi, you suck,

You don’t actually. But I like to put you in your place from time to time. It just serves the purpose that I am in charge and have established dominance. I also know that you laughed at that, which is just another reason why I’m in charge of this situation.

You were the first boy that I truly loved outside of a familial tie. And don’t get crazy homie. I ain’t in love with you. I just love you, and yes there’s a difference, even though I’m sure that you’d love to argue that. Just shut it down now, there is a difference.

You’re the boy that I’ll marry when I’m 65, lived a whole life, had kids, became a widow and forgot what it’s like to talk to anyone besides cats. I’ll need company and I can put up with you extendedly. We do have a marriage pact, but I think we’re both way too hot of commodities to not be off the market by 30ish, so I won’t be Julia Roberts and you won’t be Nick Nolte. We won’t sing “I Say A Little Prayer for You”. I also know that you don’t understand that reference AT ALL, which is just one more thing that makes this work. I can tell you all the obscure movie references and you’ll tell me about all of the really great music you’ve been listening to, even if I think it’s sh*t at first.

You were the easiest love letter to write this week, because even though I don’t see you even nearly as often as I wish, I know that you’re always a phone call, text or FaceTime away. I know that if I need you for dumb advice in the middle of the drunken night, you give it to me straight, even though you know I probably will still make a stupid choice anyway. And you don’t judge me in the aftermath.

You are that best friend that time doesn’t erode. We can brush our teeth together and share your roommate’s face wash and still not be sick of each other immeadiatiately, shockingly.

I love you. Plain and simple. No strings attached, you know that I’m here at any single point that you may need me.

I’ll Try My Best, How Much Do I Invest?

M

An Open Letter to the One I Always Break the Rules For~

Hi, hey, hello,

How’ve ya been? Good? Good. That’s good.

That’s really good. And I mean that. I actually love that you’re happy. I love that you’re in a good place and that you are smiling and that it has nothing to do with me.

I’ve waited for the day that this would make me happy and not jealous. And it finally has.

I haven’t forgotten what I felt with and about you and I sometimes have moments where I wonder if those feelings will ever go away. I hope that they don’t. Because I don’t want to forget that happy girl on the hill as the sunset. I don’t want to forget the laughter bouncing off of the steps of the statue. Or the sense of wonder felt exploring the market for the first time. I have no desire to forget that or you.

And I know that I don’t need to forget or diminish in order to feel that same level of happiness elsewhere. I can still hold those moments closely, but still feel the happiness of the moments that I live here and now. And I think that’s why I’m not jealous anymore, because I know that you can do the same.

I’m glad that you’re happy and I hope that you’re glad that I am too,

M

An Open Letter to the Guy I Am So Uninterested In~

Hey there… You… I’m actual not sure what your name is… I just have you in my phone as “Stalker”…

I am really, really flattered that you’ve been reaching out to me. Admittedly, a little creeped out, but I guess flattered nonetheless. You’re a sweet guy.

I think. I’m actually not totally sure, considering I’ve only ever talked to you once , maybe twice. I’m not entirely certain why you’ve taken this certain shine to me, even after I’ve rebuked your offers of conversation and meet ups more times than I can recall. Nonetheless, you continue to reach out and try to talk to me. You even try to guilt trip me when I don’t answer.

Have to say, it’s kind of scary and I really hope that you don’t know where I live.

Signed,

Not a Fan of this Fan, Maz

 

An Open Letter to an Ex-Whatever~

Hi! I’m sorry I went AWOL last week, I had the flu and couldn’t determine up from down, let alone write anything worth while. So, we interrupt our normal Ask Maz Monday programming to give you what was promised last week, which were “love” letters; so without furtherer ado, Love Letter #1:

Dear Ex-Whatever,

I have to admit that I was a little surprised when I got your text. I was a little surprised that one) I was hearing from you and two) you weren’t being a total d*uchebag. Actually, change that little surprise to shocked. I was shocked.

I was a little excited, because let’s face it, you’re hot. But then I remembered how you treated me. And before I replied with, “hey! I’m good, how have you been? We should catch up some time!” I stepped away, took a picture of the trashcan in my kitchen and sent it with the caption: “this reminded me of you.”

Just because you have a pretty face, doesn’t mean you can treat a person the way that you did and then expect to come back whenever you’re bored or between flings. It doesn’t work like that. I’m too busy for the games you play and I respect myself far too much than to allow myself to be the second choice. So next time you think about texting me, unless it’s an apology and a 15 step plan of how you’ve changed and intend to be better, you can politely f*ck off.

Have a great V-Day, hope you get VD,

Maz

We All Have A Dennis

Interesting fact about me, I absolutely love poetry. I love to read it, I used to love to write it, and I really love spoken-word. This is one of my all time favorites and I wanted to share it with you, it’s also what is going to be my inspiration for writing up until Valentine’s Weekend:

Have a great weekend everyone! XO, Maz

To the Fan Who’s Dealing With A Lot of Ghosts~

Question:

Going through issues with current boo and ex boo which ended on positive mutual vibes wants to reconnect. Also sights on potential new boo. What do you do?

Answer:

Listen. That is a lot of people in one go. And while most of me says, you know what, go for it! The rest of me needs more answers. From the very basic framework that you’ve laid out though, I can tell you what I would do.

Let’s just get one right off the table: the ex. No. Big nope. An ex is an ex for a reason. Though it ended on positive mutual vibes, it still ended. There’s no use dabbling back down that road. Because it could go well, and you could slip back into a comfortable familiarity, quickly, but in the long run, you’ll still remember the first break up and what caused it. It may put pressure on you to work harder as a couple or it could put a strain on the relationship. I say, leave the ex alone, if you’re friends, stay friends, but don’t move beyond that.

Okay, now let’s examine your current relationship: is it worth it? Are the issues small and easy to move beyond? Or are they big and really make you want out? If it’s the first part, then stick it out! I know that personally, once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, I start noticing all those little flaws that I thought were cute before and they start to annoy me. That’s when it becomes a choice. That’s when you have to choose to remember the good things and realize that we’re all human even if your partner slurps their cereal or never matches their socks. But, if it’s a situation where something major happened, like domestic violence or cheating, then, that’s when it is time to get out. No one deserves to be abused or cheated on and no one should ever feel that it’s okay to be a cheater or abuser.

And finally, the new one on the scene: New relationships can be fun. They can also be stressful and nerve-wracking as you sit and wait to decide if you should text or wait for them to text you. I also think that each relationship that you have, no matter the longevity, or lack-there-of, teaches you something about yourself. So, if things are very bad in your current relationship, where you’re looking for the out, maybe it is time that you move on and explore new and exciting opportunities. I do also think that if your eye is wandering away from your current relationship, that maybe it’s time that your honest with yourself and them.

I hope you sort it out, and I hope that it goes well, whatever you may choose!

XO, Maz

Questions, comments, concerns? Place them in my anonymous ask box: http://ask.fm/mazforthefanz